Chat In The Commons

A chat about our trip to FiLiA, the largest grassroots feminist conference in Europe. 
Celebrating their tenth anniversary, FiLiA 2025 was held in Brighton, UK and hosted 300 speakers from 75 countries and nearly 3,000 attendants - and Elle was there to soak it all up. 
In this episode Elle shares the inside scoop about what she saw and heard - the good, the bad and the ugly. From the powerful panel discussions (see list below), to women’s newfound global connectivity and solidarity, to frictions between feminists of different cultures, getting a 360º view of women’s oppression, and how we stay ahead of the patriarchal onslaught.
WE DISCUSS:
(00:00:00) Introduction 
(00:01:36) Background on FiLiA Conference
(00:04:49) Elle travels to Brighton
(00:09:31) TERF Island
(00:11:41) Opening Ceremony & Brighton’s Suffragette History
(00:19:16) Feminism and Militarism Panel 
(00:27:18) Beyond the Misogynist Backlash Panel 
(00:33:01) Erasure of Women’s History Panel 
(00:35:56) Modern Matriarchy Panel
(00:38:12) Women and the State Panel 
(00:42:22) Surrogacy Panel 
(00:47:19) Femicide Panel 
(00:54:42) Drama at the Disco
(00:59:39) State Violence & Gender Ideology in Brazil 
(01:06:20) Importance of Women’s Gatherings
EPISODE LINKS
FiLiA
Mary Clarke Brighton’s Suffragette History
Esua Goldsmith
Max Dashu Interview | Subject to Power
Total Woman Victory
Minangkabau Matrilineal Community 
Right To Remain
Femicide Census
Counting Dead Women UK
MATRIA
CONTACT US
Website:  www.chatinthecommons.com
Instagram: @chatinthecommons
X: @ChatInCommons
Email:  https://www.chatinthecommons.com/contact

A chat about boys and men. Natalie and Elle explore the current state of masculinity - male attitudes, behaviors and culture. And how do men perceive themselves and the challenges they face?
In this episode, we highlight both struggles and positive shifts, digging into men’s economic anxiety, loneliness, violence, and the growing manosphere, but also new models for raising boys and young men, and the work of creating healthier masculine narratives and supportive communities in order to redefine what it means to be a man. 
WE DISCUSS:
(00:00:00) Episode Overview
Introduction to the state of manhood and masculinity norms
(00:03:53) Equimundo’s State of American Men Research Report on American men, highlighting men’s own perspectives on masculinity
(00:05:02) Key issues overview: economic anxiety, restrictive masculinity, loneliness, and time online
(00:07:11) Exploration of men’s shifting provider role, economic pressures, and identity
(00:11:28) Masculinity becoming more restrictive 
(00:13:38) Male loneliness and emotional accountability discussion 
(00:16:15) Male Alexithymia and emotional expression 
(00:22:08) Manosphere narratives and online radicalization 
(00:24:04) Debunking the “Men Are Losing Out” myth 
(00:27:19) Overview of online manosphere groups
(00:35:13) Recognition of violence as a key issue for men, including self-directed violence
(00:40:32) Discussion of how violence is perpetuated and the importance of community for men
(00:52:11) Raising boys and young men
Discussion of matriarchal models, mother-son bonds, and raising feminist sons
(00:55:13) Early education and gender stereotypes 
Highlight of Icelandic preschool program combatting gender stereotypes
EPISODE LINKS
International Men’s Day 
Dads For Kids
State of American Men Study 2025 
Alexithymia | Katie Hanlon TikTok
The Other Parent | James Steyer
Male Fiction Authors | Tracy Sierra TikTok
Gen Z Men & Women’s Outlook | NBC News
Triad of Men’s Violence  
Jackson Katz | The Spectator 
Belonging vs Fitting In | Brenee Brown
The Lives of Boys with Michael Conway | Subject to Power
Disappointing Men | Solid 7 TikTok
Paid Leave For All
The Men’s Collective
ReMasculine 
Mankind Project
XY Online
How to Raise a Feminist Son | Sonora Jha
Why she wrote the book | Sonora Jha Instagram
Icelandic Hijalli Model
CONTACT 
Website:  www.chatinthecommons.com
Instagram: @chatinthecommons
X: @ChatInCommons
Email:  https://www.chatinthecommons.com/contact 

A chat about babies and birthrates. In our final episode on the 4B movement, Natalie and Elle unpack the many reasons why women across the world are opting out of procreating. It is being proclaimed that the human birthrate is in free fall and that we are in a ‘plummeting population crisis’ - but is the birthrate panic warranted? We look at the environmental, economic, political,  evolutionary and social theories as to why the human boom may be slowing down. 
In this jam-packed episode, we also take a critical look at the contradictory messages women receive about our role as creators of new life, and discuss examples of ill-fated government interventions into women’s bodily autonomy - including China, Germany, Romania and the US. We try to wrap our minds around the pronatalism movement and the recent Trump Administration’s incentives for promoting motherhood, and present our own list of incentives that would actually be meaningful to women. We cover the boom-bust theory, evolutionary mate selection theories, DINKS and much more.
EPISODE LINKS
Martha Ahumuza | X
Dr. Jennifer Glass | Paula Ferris Show  
DINKS | Nordy on TikTok 
DINKS Social
The Elephant In The Womb | Grant Wyeth
Declining birth rate
Boom and Bust Cycle 
Climate Apocalypse | Instagram
Jen Unhinged Selective Gatekeepers | TikTok 
Jen Unhinged 4 Things  | TikTok
The Cost of Sexism by Linda Scott
Natal Conference  
CONTACT US
Website:  www.chatinthecommons.com
Instagram: @chatinthecommons
X: @ChatInCommons
Email:  https://www.chatinthecommons.com/contact

A chat about mothers and family court. After years of researching and documenting women’s experiences in family court, Elle and Natalie share their observations and insights of what happens in this very hidden and secret world.  Through the lens of “what’s old is new,” we discover that while the tools have changed, the aim is the same - to punish women who dare to defy the patriarchal script for marriage and motherhood. What used to be the scold’s bridle, lobotomy, or being thrown in the psych ward - today looks more like gag orders, criminalization of mothers, forced impoverishment through vexatious litigation, and many other legal instruments that sabotage the mother-child relationship.
In this episode, we talk about how the system of family court is used by abusers to maintain their power and control, we talk about the misogyny that permeates the institution, and share the shock most women experience upon discovering the realities of these courts.  We highlight how this is not a court of law, but rather a court of discretion which has no oversight, transparency or accountability.  In Motherhood on Trial, we try to understand why this is happening and what we can do to disengage from, and fight, the damage being done to women through this multibillion dollar industry. 
EPISODE LINKS
Project 2025 - Fatherhood p.481
Grant Wyeth | Subject to Power
WeSpoke
Take Care of Maya
Mothers Lost | WeSpoke
Three Planets Model - Marianne Hester | What Doesn’t Kill Me
Joan Meier 2020 Study on Child Custody Outcomes
UN Special Rapporteur on VAW&G | Reem Alsalem
UN Report on Parental Alienation 
Family Court Power and Control Wheel
NY Senate Joint Public Hearing on Family Courts 2023
Wendy Murphy on the ERA | Phil in the Blanks
CONTACT US
Website:  www.chatinthecommons.com
Instagram: @chatinthecommons
X: @ChatInCommons
Email:  https://www.chatinthecommons.com/contact

A continued chat about sex. In this episode we reveal the remaining results of our sex survey and chat about the risks women take when we have sex with men - from STDs to pregnancy to men’s sexual violence. We also cover contraception, revenge porn, candaulism, sexual coercion, sex strikes, the 4B movement in South Korea, and the shape that this movement is taking in the West.  
EPISODE LINKS
Male Contraception Pill | Dr. Harini Bhat
He Chose Porn Over Me | Melinda Tankard Reist
The Hellscape Files with Melinda Tankard Reist | Subject to Power
Practicing Celibacy | Tera Chantelle TikTok
Men Sharing Wive’s Naked Pictures | Psychology Today
Resistance Through No Sex
CONTACT US
Website:  www.chatinthecommons.com
Instagram: @chatinthecommons
X: @ChatInCommons
Email:  https://www.chatinthecommons.com/contact 

A chat about sex. In this third episode of our series on the 4B movement, we explore the various reasons why many women are opting out of sexual relationships with men. Elle and Natalie share some of their own lived experiences, along with interesting new research, and a lot of giggles.
In Sexodus Part 1 we talk about the differences between female and male sexuality and sexual pleasure, the pornification of sex and dangerous sexual practices. We also discuss  what women actually want and need in bed.
EPISODE LINKS
South Korean Pink Map | The Guardian
6B4T Movement
Why Women Boycott Men | NPR Colin McEnroe Show
She Comes First | Ian Kerner
Come As You Are | Emily Nagoski
Sex At Dawn | Dr. Christopher Ryan 
Dr. Christopher Ryan | The Minimalists Podcast 
Masters and Johnson
Pornland | Gail Dines
Culture Reframed
Porn is a Battlefield with Gail Dines | Subject to Power
Collective Shout
He Chose Porn Over Me | Melinda Tankard Reist
The Hellscape Files with Melinda Tankard Reist | Subject to Power
Porn Speak | Whitt Marie TikTok
Strangulation Report 2024
DV Stroke Report 2022
Strangulation Institute Factsheet
CONTACT US 
Website:  www.chatinthecommons.com
Instagram: @chatinthecommons
X: @ChatInCommons
Email:  https://www.chatinthecommons.com/contact

A chat with campers at an all-women’s summer camp.  In this special episode, we take you on a trip into the woods, where you’ll meet women from every walk of life and hear why they made the long journey into the wilderness to gather.  In the midst of what we perceive to be a profound cultural awakening, the women we met spoke from the heart about what is happening around them and the burning issues that are impacting their inner lives, their families, communities and the culture at large.
Our chats touch on the importance of female friendships, women’s sex-based rights, what we are teaching NextGen, the impacts of gender ideology on women, lesbian spaces, our relationships to men, pursuing freedom and safety, sexism, radical feminism and political organizing, fighting isolation and the healing properties of women’s gatherings. 
EPISODE LINKS
WoLF RadFem Summer Camp
Irreversible Damage | Abigail Shrier
MATRIA | Association of Women, Mothers & Workers of Brazil
LGB Alliance
The Galavan 
FIST - Feminists In Struggle
WDI - Women's Declaration International
CONTACT 
Website:  www.chatinthecommons.com
Instagram: @chatinthecommons
X: @ChatInCommons
Email:  https://www.chatinthecommons.com/contact 

A chat about women and work. When talking about labor, we divide paid work from unpaid work, men’s work from women’s work, domestic labor from professional work, and work that is considered valuable versus work that is invisible. In a conversation that goes far beyond the pay gap, we examine what “work” means to women.
In this episode Elle and Natalie unpack the man-as-breadwinner myth, the working mother double bind, the varied reasons women exit the paid workforce, the mirage of the stay-at-home-mom life, and women’s true contributions to the world economy.
EPISODE LINKS
Teetads | Tik Tok
Cynthia Enloe Interview | Subject to Power
Globalization and Militarism | Cynthia Enloe
Gender Pay Gap | Pew Research
Why Women Leave Their Jobs | Forbes
Women in the Workplace Report | LeanIn
Willmar 8 | PBS
Willmar 8 | MN Historical Society
Penalty of Unpaid Work | UN Women
Maternity Leave | World Population Review
Working Moms work 2 ½ full time jobs | ABC7 NY
Paris Paloma Interview
Paris Paloma | The Late Show
CONTACT US
Website:  www.chatinthecommons.com
Instagram: @chatinthecommons
X: @ChatInCommons
Email:  https://www.chatinthecommons.com/contact 
CREDITS
Hosted by Natalie Blundell and Elle Kamihira
Produced by Natalie Blundell and Elle Kamihira
Edited by Elle Kamihira
Audio Engineering by Jason Sheesley at Abridged Audio
Cover Art by Reda Tomingas
Music by Midnight Door
Theme Song by Moushumi

A chat about being single by choice. More and more women are opting out of not just marriage, but out of relationships with men altogether - and choosing new paths to economic independence, professional and personal fulfillment, and adventure - that does not include a man as part of the plan. Women are also connecting with each other across cultures and creating new, unconventional women’s communities at exponential rates - all while unsubscribing to patriarchal norms. 
In this hour we talk about the act of de-centering men, the liberation women experience when going solo, the explosion of women-only travel, the rise of mommunes, and the increasing demand for women’s communities.  
EPISODE LINKS
In Her Nature | Rachel Hewitt
Living by yourself | Anxiously Alej
Women Only Space | Briggygee 
Stop Waiting | Healwithmegs
Solo Travel | Wonder Tours
Solo Travel | Women in the Wild
Feminist City Guide | Unearth Woman
Being Single Backlash | I am Jannah Santana
Communal Living | CoAbode 
Communal Living | Commune
Mommune | NBC The Today Show
Dating Yourself | ChloBow
Not Looking for a Man | Rihanna
Golden Girl Gang Forum | Brigg
Co-Housing Houston
OWCH Women’s Community
Fempowerment App 
CONTACT US
Website:  www.chatinthecommons.com
Instagram: @chatinthecommons
X: @ChatInCommons
Email:  https://www.chatinthecommons.com/contact 
CREDITS
Hosted by Natalie Blundell and Elle Kamihira
Produced by Natalie Blundell and Elle Kamihira
Edited by Elle Kamihira
Audio Engineering by Jason Sheesley at Abridged Audio
Cover art by Reda Tomingas
Theme song by Moushumi
Music by Midnight Door

A chat about dating. In part two of our series on the 4B movement, Elle and Natalie take a read on what is happening in dating culture, listening to a diverse cross-section of women to try to understand why a growing number of women are saying no to dating.
EPISODE LINKS
Influence of Sex and the City | Emily the Recruiter
Hook-Up Culture | Cunty Chanel
Transactional Dating | Pure Michigangster
Backlash to Women’s Standards | Shawnda
Being Bitter vs Being Aware | Professional Sassatron
Internet Boyfriend | Joshua Summerfield
Self-Love Journey | Caitlin Checker
Women Benefit Men | Fashionably Divorced
Burning the Haystack | Crazylocks918
Burned Haystack Method | Jennie Young
Rising Standards | Jennifer Moxley
Bumble Ad Campaign | Daily Mail
RESOURCES
Are We Dating the Same Guy? | App
Tea for Women | App
FROM THE COMMONS
FiLiA is the largest international women’s rights conference in the world. They know that building a global sisterhood is essential for the dismantling of patriarchy. Learn more and buy your tickets for the October 10-12, 2025 conference in England at:
https://www.filia.org.uk
CONTACT
Website:  www.chatinthecommons.com
Instagram: @chatinthecommons
X: @ChatInCommons
Email:  https://www.chatinthecommons.com/contact 
CREDITS
Hosted by Natalie Blundell and Elle Kamihira
Produced by Natalie Blundell and Elle Kamihira
Edited by Elle Kamihira
Audio Engineering by Jason Sheesley at Abridged Audio
Cover Art by Reda Tomingas
Music by Moushumi